ARE YOU MORE ABOUT SERVING OR RECEIVING?


01 Jun
01Jun

In regards to relationships, I question the concept of dismissing too quickly based on those who don’t serve you or are at your level.

How is the other person to serve you?  What are those terms?


#Servingyou starts with serving you. How are you fully and continually nourishing your stability?


About being on the same level, some people need a prospective partner to be on the same education level, financial level, or fitness level. However, they themselves are on the verge of financial distress and their workouts total a month’s worth in the last decade. Is that hypocrisy?

What if the person is on the “same level,” does that guarantee compatibility? What if the person appears in an unexpected package?

 

I’m not sure what makes for longevity and authenticity in a relationship.  Everyone has an opinion and preference regarding culture, physical features, values, education, and age…

I’ve had experiences challenging all of those, now what?

I know I’d like to have a companion long term. I also know when someone wants to be there in earnest; they do what it takes to show up differently.


You don’t know if someone will #serveyou if both parties aren’t being honest at the start. People come in with expectations that are unknown to the other.

Unless honesty steps forward with upfront information, then how could similar conclusions come about?


Whoever you meet will not be like you.

Regardless of your age, everyone has lived a life before meeting you.  Their experiences and exposure created who they are.  The older you are, this becomes even more difficult as mannerisms and maniacal habits settle in.

So guess what? That person absolutely won’t “serve you” right away. Not in a month, not in three months, possibly not the first year. Maybe they need time to figure out if they can trust and believe in you.


But what if you’re the one who is in the position of serving?

What if it’s about giving, not receiving?


How long do you give?

If everyone is being receptive, accepting, honest, without hidden agendas or expectations, and both of you truly want the best for each other, then time is irrelevant. 


If you’re checking a calendar, why?


Shouldn’t I be protecting my soul to not be pulled down? Why isn’t it about me, and what I’m receiving?

Make sure you’re being honest about your “level,” and your ego happiness.


If you’re truly there to give to help them grow, then “pulling down” doesn’t occur. In time the person will develop, because of your example, guidance. Flow happens.


Getting pulled down happens if it’s about making you happy and comfortable because somewhere in your mind you had a time limit for the other person’s transformation.  This is where the word tolerance and acceptance differ.

Tolerance has an expectation of change.

Acceptance just allows the person to be.


I got into an insightful discussion with a best friend and she, like quite a few single friends, has the same mindset; “I'd rather be alone than be with someone I have to bring up and help grow.”

OK, there’s serendipity. I’m a dear fan of a great fairytale love story.


Everybody has their approach and what they feel is correct.


At the end of the day, vibe, dynamic, connection, balance, inspiration, and growth—all take time and continual self-checking.


Thanks for being here.


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