Why do people say this word, but don’t have any intention of following through?
Now, now. Let’s not say you did want to, but “life” happened.
Don’t say it. It’s time to be more conscious of the words we say out of habit. Let’s show up differently.
There’s this acquaintance that I meet every time I go to another friends’ house; our daughters are about the same age. For five years now, this acquaintance, as they are leaving says, “Let’s get the girls together soon, okay?”
There’s no obligation; we aren’t friends; why put it out there? Is it because it’s the nice thing to say?
We’re all busy and have things to do throughout the day. However, we all have the same 24 hours and the same willpower—we all choose to use it differently.
There’s substance to following through.
Do you want to “get together soon,” or “do lunch,” or meet for a beverage?” Do you? If you truly do and it’s not the default line you use when giving the last hugs heading out the door, then why aren’t you making the time, say within the next 2-3 weeks?
I’m a firm believer in when someone doesn’t want to do something somehow everything transpires to prevent it. I mean everything from your plants contracting some fungus to “sudden cold.”
“I’m so busy, I forgot, I was adulting, I was...” is kind of another way of saying, “I just didn’t want to.”
It’s the latest blow-off line. Oh yes, I am giving the side-eye to those that use it on the dating apps.
The subconscious mind is a funny thing, isn’t it? Think of a situation where you weren’t in the mood to go somewhere, but you had weeks to build up anxiety, annoyance, dread towards it, what happened finally? If you didn’t make yourself sick (from weeks of stressing), then someone else in the household did. The dog got a hold of a frog maybe? That day, perhaps you felt it was necessary to tend to that oil change you’ve been putting off for a 1000 miles, and now you get to blame Pep Boys for the delay and your eventual absence.
Years ago, I decided to say what I mean, truly. More than that, my thoughts, words, and actions had to be in harmony. If someone else follows through with an invite, especially someone who I may not necessarily want to hang out with, then I give myself time to reply. If I don’t want to initially, I ask myself why? I also give my mind time to approach it differently. If it’s been a while since our last meeting, maybe the experience will be different this time. If I am receptive, then my actions and words will follow.
My exchange with them will be genuine.
Challenge yourself. Pay attention this week, see if you can catch yourself using “default lines.”