I saw something that sparked controversy last week, and I feel a certain kind of way about it.
I’m referring to Chrissy Tiegen and hubby, musician John Legend posting/sharing intimate pictures of the loss of their baby. I didn’t get into all the articles, but I believe she was midway or so.
The pictures were taken in the hospital, one showing Ms. Tiegen hunched over the hospital bed in anguish, another holding her husband’s hand…
My first thought was, who took these damn pictures and why? Why would you share this private, personal moment RIGHT NOW? Instant snapshot of trauma and anguish--boom!
No, not every needs to be documented and shared the minute it happens.
It's not a matter of praising her for not remaining silent or feeling ashamed because of the long-standing societal stigma.
My issue is about recognizing certain moments are not about instant notification.
Give yourself and your family time. Process first.
Empower your privacy, not your ego.
Feeding followers' thirst for immediacy adds to everyone's brokenness.
Your followers, fans, and supporters don’t know you; you don’t know them. You are not inviting then to your house; you are not following them at any capacity to be able to call them friends. The choice this family made created a media frenzy, and some platforms were “schooling” people on how to "properly" respond.
There's the issue of feeling more comfortable using this detached platform to express matters you wouldn't be able to out loud.
Is this a way of validating an unhealthy coping mechanism?
Is it not the instant band-aid for immediate relief? The surge of support and kind words are wonderful, but they skim the surface.
What about long-term, true healing? Are you not going to have to talk about it eventually, cope and find an outlet that best suits your healing?
We cannot diminish the horrific experience of losing a child.
EVERYONE, including public figures, can choose to respect their private space and moment. Amazing how Julia Roberts, Demi Moore and others have managed, hunh?
Whilst in the hospital, in that present time, in those hours, few days, or months deep in the throes of trauma—please no pics, no posts. Is that fair?
Take back your time, release the pressure, and comfort for your authentic life.
I understand she has to post, but IG and Twitter will be probably be there next week--and maybe for years to come. Upload pictures of the mountain of crumpled tissues and stacks of tea bags on your nightstand when you decide to re-emerge.
Anyone with a heart will understand.
If they don't, this couple has established a presence that if a few followers fall off--oh well.