18 Jan

When you say you don’t want to forget something or someone, what do you do to honor that event or person? 

I feel if you’re going to “never forget,” how do you celebrate that relationship?  

Do you celebrate, lament, or go through perfunctory actions when someone triggers a memory? 

“Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.” Martin Luther King.

I saw someone at the gym today with a bright yellow hoodie. It had a tombstone sketch on the front, complete with tufts of grass and swaying daisies.  On the back, it said, “Gone but not forgotten.”  I know someone who has done the same with tattoos of every deceased friend and relative. If said tattoos were on your shoulder (can you imagine on your back?), do you ever notice them, or are they easily forgotten? What’s the purpose? 

I just wonder why I have to be reminded of the day a person died? A tombstone on a hoodie, really?

If I want to remember the person, why not do it with purpose? With purpose, I mean your PRIVATE, personal moment of honor and reflection. 

What date is that? A birthday?  Anniversary?

Do you play their favorite song? Do you buy flowers when they run through your mind? Do you flip through photos reminiscing about the fun times you shared? Do you call up a couple of friends and have a drink or two? If you go place flowers on a tombstone, do you take the time to bring their favorite flower?

I think there is a difference between having pictures around the house highlighting great memories, opposed to those that inhibit healing. 

The memories should make you smile because it should be about the feeling you had with them. 

Holding on to your pain about their passing is like picking at a scab just as it crusts over. Putting it out on social media is also about reinforcing the now seeping wound. 

“We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right.” Martin Luther King

What about events? Do you host a picnic with a purpose to celebrate MLK? Is there a reason why it has been reduced to initials? If we’re "never going to forget," well then, how about starting with still saying his entire name? 

I believe he is still relevant.  Unfortunately, our influencers today--I’ll leave it there.  Some of today's TikTok, “stars,” probably don’t know what MLK stands for in any sense. 

I have a dear friend of mine who has been in a coma for over a year and a half.  I’m not sure if things will work out miraculously like some stories I’ve heard.  If my friend comes back, I’m not sure she will remember who I am, or that when I walked up to her to say hello because she was the new girl in school, we’ve been friends since we were twelve years old.  However, when a Janet Jackson or Boy George song comes on, that’s my moment with her. I could see us dancing in her yard, I could see our style, and I could send loving, healing thoughts. 

Do you have special rituals, or has it all become routine?

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